Some people living with cancer choose a main avenue of communication to keep their support network updated. Read their blog, web page, or group emails. People going through treatment often need a break from talking about the disease. Come ready to talk to them about something unrelated to cancer. Ask about their interests, hobbies, and other topics not related to cancer. As much as possible, treat them the same as you always have. Try not to let your friend's cancer get in the way of your friendship. If you commit to helping them, it is important that you follow through on your promise. If your friend declines the offer, do not take it personally.įollow through. Offer specific things you can help with, such as childcare, pet care, a ride to an appointment, or preparing a meal. Many people find it hard to ask for or accept help, but your friend will likely appreciate the offer. Your friend can respond to your outreach when they feel up to it. Make time for a check-in phone call or text message. This may be called "holding space."Ĭheck in. You may not be able to fix it, but you can provide comfort by just being with them. Do not ignore uncomfortable topics or feelings if they come up. A light conversation, a funny story, or a silly video or meme can make a friend's day.Īllow for sadness. Be humorous and fun when appropriate and when needed.
The effects of cancer can be unpredictable. Make flexible plans that are easy to change in case your friend needs to cancel or reschedule. This gives your friend something to look forward to, especially important because cancer treatment can be long and tiring.īe flexible. Do not be afraid to make plans for the future. Be sure to make it clear that saying no is perfectly okay. Before visiting, giving advice, and asking questions, ask if it is welcome. Start your visit by saying "It's good to see you" instead of commenting on any physical changes.Īlthough each person with cancer is different, here are some general suggestions for showing support:Īsk permission. Fatigue, weight loss, and hair loss are common side effects of cancer and many cancer treatments. Prepare yourself for changes to your friend's appearance. Do a little research online at credible websites to learn more about the specific treatment, side effects, and recovery to have a better idea of what your friend will be going through. If there is information that is unknown or not shared, do not push for more. Write it down and repeat it back to them to be sure you have the correct information. If possible, a person's spouse or a mutual friend may be able to give you the basics. It can be physically and emotionally tiring to repeat the same information to many different people. Your friend may not want to talk about the details of their diagnosis for many reasons. Learn what you can and accept what is shared. This way, you can keep the focus on your friend, and you will not unintentionally burden them with your emotions. Take time to acknowledge and cope with your own emotions about the diagnosis before you see or talk to them. You may feel a lot of emotions, such as grief, sadness, anger, despair, or fear. Learning that a friend has cancer can be difficult news to hear. How can I prepare to support a friend with cancer?īefore talking to a friend who has received a cancer diagnosis, consider taking these steps: With these practical suggestions in mind, your friendship can make a lasting difference to a person with cancer. Friendships are an important part of that. After treatment, your friend will be trying to find their "new normal" in this next phase of life. Your friend will also need support and encouragement after cancer treatment has finished. Remember that it is often the little things that mean the most.Ĭontinuing friendship and regular activities after a cancer diagnosis is a great way to help your friend through their healing process. Be sure to think about your unique dynamic and let that guide you as you try to support your friend. It is important to remember that there are no set rules, and every friendship is different. Even though you want to help, it may be hard to know what to say or do. If one of your friends has cancer, you may be wondering the best way to support them.
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